Tonsillitis

Good news, I didn't have throat cancer and my little throat enemy disappeared. But... Dr. Zimmerman so kindly informed me that my tonsils were the size of walnuts and if the swelling didn't go down, I would have to get my poor poor tonsils taken out. I got antibiotics from strep throat and prayed on everything that things wouldn't come down to me losing my adenoids. I know millions of people get their tonsils taken out all the time no big deal but I also know some people who have lost their voice FOREVER from the surgery going wrong. Ok, I've heard of it happening to one person but still the odds are there. I always hate it when people give me statistics like "99% of the time surgery goes according to plan." I mean ok, what if I'M the %1 percent that it doesn't go according to plan and I die? What then? It's things like this:

Less common or rare risks include:

• More serious bleeding.
• Anesthetic complications.
• Death after surgery (very rare).

When they use words like "less common" or "rare" or "very rare" that really make me wonder, WHAT IF I'M THE RARITY.  Point is, you never know what can happen to YOU no matter what the odds or percentages are. If you're the unlucky %1 percent it really doesn't matter how great the statistics are, be them %50 or %99. It really bugs me when WebMD, doctors, surgens and your parents say this to make you feel better. In this case, I was the lucky percent that the antibiotics worked, my walnut tonsils turned back to peanut tonsils, and I didn't have to get anything cut out. Amen.

Throat Cancer

I had a really bad sore throat for a few weeks. I came to terms that I am a Hypochondriac and am really trying to get better so I took it as a cold and piled up my medicine cabinet with all sorts of drugs. Once I started to get feverish I decided it was time to see the doctor. Since I was away at college I had to go to the "highly advanced" college health center where they have graduate students evaluate your issues. I opened my mouth and said "Ahh" to this short little blond girl, Dr. Strauss. "Huh. Interesting" she says. The two words you never want your doctor to say to you. "... Seems like you have a cyst growing in the back of your throat... It's possibly benign but I'm going to refer you to a specialist" GREAT. The referral wasn't for two weeks so I had to sit there Google Imaging cysts and comparing it to my own thinking I had throat cancer for 14 days and 13 sleepless nights. People DIE from cysts. I called my Pediatrician across the country to talk to her about the little enemy growing in my mouth. I established a Skype session just to show my parents what 'it' looked like. I e-mailed a picture I took of 'it' and e-mailed it to my roomate's dad. Random people I would meet, would know about 'it' within a few minutes of my introduction as I tried to have them analyze it's shape. 

On the day of my appointment I could have sworn 'it' grew bigger. I trekked through the snow to the address on my paper to see Dr. Zimmerman. Dr, Strauss had failed to inform me that Dr. Zimmerman's office was at the NYU.... Hospital. That's basically another word for 'Graveyard'. It was also in the CANCER WARD of the HOSPITAL. Which is basically another word for 'Death'. I sat down in the waiting room next to a little old man. He turned to me and said something I couldn't understand because guess what? He didn't have a TONGUE. They must have removed his tongue because of his throat cancer (I read about this procedure online). My eyes filled up with tears as I tried to conceive what the rest of my life was going to be like without a tongue and with throat cancer. They called my name seventeen minutes later. Dr. Zimmerman stuck a camera up my nose and checked my throat and ears. "It's just a small cyst. It's benign and will go away on it's own in a few weeks." Before I could breath out my relief.... "But, huh, your tonsils are very swollen, looks like those babies might need to be removed."  ........ to be continued........

Internal Bleeding

I was sitting in my swivly sleek office chair with my feet up on my desk chatting on the phone in my New York apartment. It was one of those rare moments in life where you just feel super awesome about yourself. Well, it's moments like this, the universe doesn't like. So, as not to let your ego get too out of control, it busts you. BOOM! My foot slips off the desk, I drop the phone and fall backwards onto nothing but the corner of my air conditioner, landing on my back breathless. My first thought: am I dead? I tried to get up. No, I'm alive. But it hurts to move. My back. My kidney! Oh. My. God. Internal bleeding. I busted my kidney and now I'm going to die. Just my luck. Awesome. I take hold of my phone and try to crawl to the computer to Google internal bleeding symptoms. I can't reach my laptop. Without hesitation, as to not waste a precious moment of my last seconds to live, I call my roommate: "I think I'm dying. I have internal bleeding." Her being used to my Hypochondriac antics she is a bit more constructive: "Do you pee blood?" She asks calmly. "No! I mean I don't know! I can't move, I can't make it to the toilet!" "Ok... do you have shortness of breath? Lightheadedness?" I think about it for a moment. Things start to spin. "Oh my gosh, YES!" "Oh, you're perfectly fine. I gotta get back into class. Pop a Tylenol and watch some TV." Click. The phone hangs up. Now, if you are or if you have ever known a Hypochondriac, you know that once one random person, medical specialist or not, says you are ok, you start to feel a bit better. The lightheadedness subsides, and the shortness of breath you thought you had seems to disappear. A few hours later I find myself completely healed with a bit of a bruise but none the less, sitting at dinner being the talk of the table about my near death experience that day.

By the way, it costs a hefty $95 to fix a broken corner of an air conditioner.

Brain Tumor

So I'm on vacation in Hawaii with my family in a gorgeous resort, with the perfect weather, and crystal blue water, what could possibly be wrong? Well, a few days ago I woke up with a splitting headache that has now lasted 2 days. I feel as though I'm either going to fall over and die from a brain aneurysm or that I have a brain tumor and will die a slow painful death. I checked out on snorkeling to stay in and research brain diseases and what I found was nothing less than terrifying!

General signs and symptoms caused by brain tumors may include:
    - New onset or change in pattern of headaches
    - Headaches that gradually become more frequent and more severe
    - Unexplained nausea or vomiting
    - Vision problems, such as blurred vision or double vision
    - Gradual loss of sensation or movement in an arm or a leg
    - Difficulty with balance
    - Speech difficulties
    - Confusion in everyday matters
    - Personality or behavior changes
    - Seizures

    - Hearing problems   
 

Thanks to MayoClinic.com, now not only does my head hurt but I feel like I'm seeing double, I'm walking into walls, and my right leg seems to have gotten a bit numb.